The missing piece...

Well, the past 2 days I've walked you through my personal strategy for goal setting in the new year and shared two very important questions you need to ask when determining your goals. Today, I want to give you one last piece of the puzzle that will hopefully make it all come together.

One of the things I love about a new year is that it feels like a fresh start. I'm one of those people who feels very attached to natural boundaries. What I mean is I love the naturally occuring start/stop points that exist. For example: Monday is the start of the week, so Monday is usually when I implement a larger change like starting a new exercise plan or routine for the kiddos. The same is true for the first of the month or the start of a new season. I don't know why but I love the feeling of starting new on those dates. So naturally the start of a new year is my favorite!

Here's the problem with a new year though. We all have a tendency to focus on the new things we want to do and forget that a huge part of our new year should include asking the question:

WHAT DO I NEED TO STOP DOING IN 2015?

At the end of the day you can't just keep adding more and more stuff. You'll be miserable. Maybe your 2015 goals need to be about dropping the good stuff so you can pick up the best stuff. Maybe your focus should be clearing out room for you to breathe and enjoy life a little more. Start by listing your priorities and then look at your calendar. Mark off the things that are preventing you from living the values you claim are important to you.  

Sure that book club is fun but is it keeping you from saying yes to something better? The money is nice but is the overtime at work really worth more than the family time you're sacrificing to get it?  I know having all the new technology and gadgets is fun but is it worth the strain it puts on you financially? 

What do you look back on in 2014 and think, "That was dumb. Why did I do that?"?  Why not make 2015 the year you don't do that again. You don't get into more debt. You don't invest in the wrong relationship. You don't treat work like the most important thing. You don't continue to be jealous. 

What do you need to stop doing in 2015? In order to accomplish what God wants for you this year you need to start by stopping.

The questions worth asking!

Yesterday I shared with you about goals for the new year and later I was telling Matt about how easy it is for me to get on a roll and just set a million goals. I like dreaming what can I say ;) It was then that I realized that I hadn't shared with all of you how I determine what goals to pursue and what goals to put aside. So that's what I want to do today.

I've heard some people say that they don't want to set any goals for the future because they just want to see God's plan come to fruition in their lives. On the front end that sounds like a really "mature" thing to say. But I think when you look at scripture you'll see that God is all about the organization and planning. So how do we balance God's clear example of order and planning with our desire for control (which can often be what all our planning is about)? Great question!

I think there is absolutely a way to set goals that is God honoring and productive at the same time. For me I simply ask two questions:

1. What will bring me closer to God?

2. What will bring me closer to my family?

I filter all of my dreams through these two questions. Then I spend time asking God what he wants me to pursue for this next year. Each of my final goals answers one of these two questions. Continuing to pursue a healthy lifestyle answers both: Choosing to turn to God for strength or comfort instead of food absolutely pulls me closer to him. Taking care of my body allows me to be there for my family in the future and be more fully present with them now. The same is true to continuing to exercise and trying to take care of myself more. These three things will ultimately bring me closer to God and closer to my family.  So I know it's safe, and wise to pursue them.

Now, that being said all goals or dreams or plans are made in sand. What I mean is that I can't rely on these goals to be my guarantee for the next year. Only God knows what the future holds so I can't ignore an opportunity from him simply because it doesn't fit into my strategy for this year! So I set goals that I believe God wants me to pursue and I continue to look to him throughout the year. If he says let 'em go guess what? I let 'em go! Only you know if your goals are an attempt to honor God or an attempt to control your life. Make sure you're seeking to honor him. 

So, what can you do in 2015 to help you draw closer to God and to the people around you? Those are plans worth making and keeping!

Getting ready for the new year!

I can't believe we're just days away from 2015! On one hand I'm excited for a new year and a fresh start. On the other I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of 2014. Something I've always loved to do is dream about the new year and the different things I want to see happen in it. But over the years I've learned how to take those day dreams and turn them into a reality (at least most of the time!). 

One of the biggest mistakes I used to make was setting 423 goals. I'd get going on dreaming of all the things I wanted to see happen and before I knew it I was trying to implement too many new routines and activities and I'd be done by January 7th! Or I'd set unrealistic goals...I'm going to exercise for 2 hours 7 days a week. I'm going to memorize a bible verse a day. By day 2 I'd already failed! LOL!

So, what do I try and do now that's more successful? 4 simple steps:

1. Reflect on my previous year and celebrate the wins I had! Then determine which of those things I should continue moving forward.

2. Pick 2-3 goals or dreams I'd like to accomplish in the next year. Please don't give yourself 10 life changes, it's just too much. Realistically anything over 3 is headed toward failure, it's just too much!

3. Make a plan for how to achieve each of those goals. Figure out what the obstacles would be for you and that goal then make plans to eliminate them. Your goal is to exercise twice a week after work. Great goal! What are the obstacles? Having the right clothes? Remembering your bag? Not knowing what to do when you arrive at the gym? Cooking dinner after exercising? Figure it out ahead of time and make a plan. Pack your bag the night before and put it in the car. Make crockpot meals for dinner the days you work out. Choose a class to attend before exercise day arrives. You get the picture :)

4. Build accountability. Make someone (or even several someone's) aware of your goals and your plans to reach them. Ask them to join you or check in with you periodically to keep you on track, encourage you and challenge you. Our chances of success increase dramatically when we have someone holding us accountable. So set yourself up for success! If getting your finances in order is a goal find someone who is willing to sit down and go over them with you periodically. Ask them to check with you once a month or once a week to see how you're doing! Change isn't easy but having someone on the ride with you really does help. 

What are my 2015 goals? I won't bore you with the whole 4 step process but here's a little bit of where I'm headed :)

WHAT I'LL CONTINUE IN 2015:

Last January Matt and I changed our food lifestyle by adopting The Daniel Plan as our eating guide. It has made a huge difference in our health, ALL aspects of our health (mental, physical, emotional and spiritual). So I absolutely want to continue to pursue a God-honoring approach to food. We have found that kick starting our year with a 10 day detox (no sugar, dairy or caffeine) really helps us to stay on track with our eating so that's step one so to speak. This year I discovered how easy it is to prepare healthy nourishing food on a budget and with time constraints. So, I want to continue to use the menu I developed in 2014 and add a few new dishes too :)

Another great thing I did in 2014 was earn my group fitness certification! I was super excited to begin teaching spin classes at the MSU Wellness Center and I want to continue to incorporate exercise into my life and our families lives. I love the built in accountability of teaching at the wellness, I have to show up because it's my job! LOL! I'd like to build on this a little in the upcoming year by making sure my kids are staying active too. My plan at this time is to build a family "active" time twice a week into our routine.

WHAT I HOPE TO ADD IN 2015:

1. Make ME a priority. I genuinely never believed I'd be one of those moms who neglected herself to take care of everyone else. I can be pretty self-centered left to my own devices so that just seemed impractical. And yet one of my biggest struggles this year has been reaching a point of exhaustion where I am no longer able to take care of my family in the manner I should. Let's face it, working from 5 AM till 7:30 PM seven days a week is a lot (not to mention all those nights you get "called in to work"!). It's worth it but it's some serious stuff. And it's not wise for me to refuse to take breaks and invest in myself a little more. I want to avoid the exhaustion point this year. 

One of the biggest ways I'm doing that is getting away, even if just for a night, at least once every 3 months. That may seem insignificant but it pays big dividends! I am very fortunate to have a mother who offered to Ellie/James overnight sit periodically to give me this break. That's a big way I'm trying to avoid exhaustion. Some of the smaller ways include making time to write more. Writing is totally refreshing to me, I love it! So, scheduling a time for me to blog is another small but important step. One more is making the time to do the essentials before the kids are up and needing me. For me the essentials are: shower/brush teeth, get dressed in something other than sweatpants, spend time connecting with God and drink a cup of coffee. It may seem silly to have things like showering and brushing my teeth as goals but if you have 2 kids who are 14 months apart you probably already know that stuff is a luxury! LOL!

Initially my big goal for 2015 was to be a better mom. That's when I realized I don't like myself as a mom when I'm too tired and stretched too thin to be the mom God created me to be. That's when I started to realize that investing in me, making me a priority every once in a while would be the best way to be a better mom to Ellie & James. I love those kids a lot better when I love myself too. While it may seem selfish at first, make me a priority indeed! But at the end of the day I think it'll give me the thing I want most. To love my kids as well as they deserve. To be the mommy they need. To be the wife Matt needs. I love them too much to offer them exhausted Jen (she's not very nice ;) ).

So, here's to 2015! Let the fun begin! What are your goals?